Basically in a nice mood

I had a pretty detailed discussion with my family last night which has made me get into some serious thinking mode. We had all gotten back from my grandmother's place after having dinner. The evening had been nice. A typical first Eid day at Nano's which we all look forward to. If you take a closer look at both my maternal and paternal side of the family you would notice that we have a greater number of women then men. Reason why im sharing this piece of information here is that girls being in majority we basically LOVE getting together on such occasions to check out what everyone is wearing and who has the best designed hena. Some of my cousins looked adorable wearning light baby colours, some had on amazing jewlery and my self was labelled as the expert on eye makeup (Yes I had on a bit more then a teensy weensy makeup last night which every one found unusual but complimented me on the good job I had done)- Anyways, the dinner went pretty well. My grandma looked totally cute wearing precious piece of hair clips made out of stones which Maham and Mahira (My 2nd Uncles two elder daughters) had forced on her. Afer my Grandfather's death I have never seen my Nano wear anything colorful and my grandpa died when I was an 8 month old fat baby so you can imagine it's been 23 years since I have seen my grandma in greys, browns and whites only.

Ok so im getting side tracked again. It's just that it felt good to get together with the maternal side of the family last night (Not forgetting the fact that it felt recieving cash without working my ass off on customer account, branch audits, staff training, making presentations and analysis and going through AML transactions). We got back home around 11:30ish and my dad had this new DVD called "The Secret". I am not going to put in details regarding what I saw and learnt as I plan to start a new blog sometime soon and such kind of topics I would best leave for that blog. After sitting and chatting with ma, pa and bro for two hours I went to bed and was woken up by bro at 6:00 am in the morning to offer my Fajar prayers and then later go out for jogging. I have always thought that watching sunset is the most romantic thing however when I saw the SUN RISE today it gave me a totally different feeling. Yes watching sun set is STILL romantic in my books but the effect which watching sun rise leaves on a being is incredible (Atleast for me it is). I started taking in the fresh oxygene (Trust me this is a rarity in a city like Karachi) and lightly jogged completing 10 laps. It felt great. I was humming to my self and blocked out all the negative thoughts from mind and simply looked forward to what I have and plan to achieve.

The only reason why I am writing this blog on this early hour of the morning is that just being out there in the fresh made me get in to the writing mood and I really felt like sharing my thoughts here.

Ok so my brother is standing on my head and demanding a good breakfast so I guess I better end this entry right here. Will be posting my new blog soon.

AK - Looking forward to having some coffee with Bagels on this bee--OO--Tee--FULL morning :)

AK on Chaand Raat

So ends the holy month of Ramadan finally. The month passed by so smoothly and peacefully this year that I didn’t even realize it that tomorrow is going to be the first day of Eid therefore that makes tonight the beautiful and always exciting chaand raat. My dress for tomorrow is a combination of dark and light green. If you could see the kind of jewelry I purchased to go with it you would definitely be in for a shock but what the heck I want to give myself a traditional look this year. Now for those who know the way I dress would get a horrendous image in mind but I’ll post the pictures soon and then see what they think.
The traffic outside in the City is worth watching. My dad and brother always get irritated on taking us (Me and mom) out on Chaan Raat but I have always enjoyed seeing the mob. I just love watching women and kids doing their last minute shopping, trying to find the EXACT shade of bangles to go with their Eid Joraa’s. I suppose it’s a girl thing which a guy wouldn’t understand similarly how women don’t understand a man not paying attention to his wife / girlfriend on a football / cricket night.
The only thing that’s bothering me right now is getting back to work after the eid holidays. I had gotten so used to leaving work at 4. Now going back to the normal 9 to 6 routine where your boss wouldn’t leave you before 8:00 PM is too depressing to even think about right now which reminds me I haven’t applied henna as yet. Gotta go for now. Have a great Eid guys! *hugs*

Anti Airport

Today Saturday, August 22, 2009 I Quratulain Binte Khalid Riaz Ahmed declares my dislike for airports. I had never realized this before today when Omer took me to the airport to gaze at the undoubtedly beautiful view ahead as the airplanes took off and landed before us. The idea was to relax and have some serious “creative discussion” at a place where one is forced to “think” like an artist which I believe we both are in our own ways.
The moment we had entered the parking area of Jinnah Terminal I felt a very old yet familiar feeling of depression coming over me and my mind immediately drifted back to last year when I had travelled to Lahore from Karachi to conduct an audit for a branch our Bank had opened in Lahore a while ago. Trying to still calm myself by silently assuring myself that all is in the past now I still couldn’t drive that uneasy feeling out of my heart. It all really depends on how you look at things actually. To some, like my friend Omer, a positive feeling comes when he sees the passengers eagerly waiting for their relatives or friends to reach the destination after a long wait and also those who bid their loved one’s goodbye with tears in their eyes (in fact we even tried imitating how people cry when departing a loved one right there at the centre of the airport with people giving us both a strange look). Anyways, for me the entire scene is actually very depressing. Like being pulled away from the people you love, places you have a million memories with your friends and family etc. Whenever I am there I feel alone and gazing at the plane flying away saddens me as I feel that it pulls a person away from the solid earth where he/she had once been so happy.
I see a man flying in that plane on his way to a lover selfishly leaving behind a broken heart. I see a young girl flying away in search of a distraction from someone who has so willingly and happily left her for someone who offers him wealth instead of the immense love the girl so honestly gave. I see people eagerly flying off to a destination in hope of striking rich in the new land leaving behind friends and family shedding tears after them.
Gone are the days when I used to be so excited about watching a plane fly.

AK filled with grieve... 

AK's Optimistic Solution

I have been having some interesting and pretty deep conversations with people I think have been born with a brain of finer quality then the one gifted to me. Over the past couple of weeks I was wrapped in the feeling of being rejected and hated for reasons I don’t find fit to be published here. I have come to some conclusions and facts about human psychology and the way they expect and deserve to be treated…
Daddy dearest and I were having a stroll a couple of days back enjoying the breeze of a typical Karachi evening while I shared my thoughts with him. Like always he put his arm around my shoulder and gave that wonderful speech of how proud he is of the little accomplishments I have made in life but then noticing that I was actually very serious he simply explained the law of attraction saying, “It is human nature to run after those who are not attracted to them and to draw themselves away from those who are dying for their company”. Seeing the look on my face he further said, “The best life partner for you is somebody who loves you rather then somebody who you love. Don’t you think you would be able to love somebody later on when you see the way he showers you with affection?” I honestly had no answers and stared moodily ahead pondering over what he was trying to tell me. As I write this a very old saying comes to mind which is “A friend in need is a friend indeed”. Now if I think about it exactly how many supposed “friends” have been there at the time of my need? “Need” here does not specifically mean money but what I am emphasizing on is just a shoulder to cry on or a ear to listen whenever my heart feels remorseful.
We as human beings have been gifted with a brain which is meant to be used but unfortunately the world and the lifestyle we live is just so commercial that we never really sit for a while and think over stuff and the kind of relationships we are running since we are so busy thinking what car to purchase, how lavish should we throw our next birthday party, what new dress to be worn at ABC’s function etc.
If I think about the times when I have seriously needed a shoulder to cry on I can’t really jot down a list of “friends” who stood up immediately. In fact nobody ever has the time to listen to “bull shit” as most practical people like to call it. If I follow this strategy of selecting friends then I really don’t think I have more than 4 or 5 friends who genuinely are my friends. Thinking over this piece I still feel I am Alhamdulillah better off than most as in this fast world I really don’t think people have what you can really call a “friend”. Merely passing a statement that somebody is a “friend” does not make him or her a friend.
Similarly if in a relationship is it fair for just one party to be chasing after the other? I have seen couples whereby after a certain time period the guy or the girl looses interest in their partner and is usually indifferent towards everything the other does or say. Are such relationships even worthy of making an effort for? On this I was told that it’s wise to let your other half walk away if he or she is simply not interested in you anymore (After making reasonable effort to regain that love of course) because trying to stay glued to someone who is simply not interested is a waste. Similarly making one self miserable after those who do not love you is also a mere waste of time and energy. Instead we should learn to be happy with what we have.
As for the happiness we are so badly looking for… well I am sure somebody up there is keeping a track of our desires and if we pray with an open honest heart I am sure HE will make sure that we eventually get what we want.

Oh and yeah... the idea is to keep on counting your blessings and to stay happy as hell! ;)

All excited and so much to look forward to...

Like always I have a bundle of activities at hand and absolutely NO time to finish off any. Since I am on my annual leave from work these days so assuming I had plenty of time at hand I started work on my old pending paintings, new sketches, bought a few Sidney Sheldon, Judith Mcnaught and Danielle Steel books, 8 Hollywood movie DVDs and completing my photo albums for the family. As usual my main aim which was to learn guitar and driving got lost somewhere between this list of additional things (Now I know a certain somebody who would go through this blog would say "I told you so or I knew so" but i'll feign ignorance :P)

Anyways, my days at home are going pretty good. Just last to last night I took a long walk with dad - just me and him and we were discussing our fave books and authors (Also the guys I used to have a crush on back when I had started working) when suddenly I told abba what has been running through my mind for the past one month which was about starting to write my very own novel to which he immediately offered support (Yep, he's gonna be the best man in my wedding - Love you daddy *huggies*) As usual after earning his approval and knowing that im still daddy's princess I am sleeping over the idea about writing that novel :P

Another source of excitement are the 15 new suits I got from my tailor today. Man this is so bloody exciting. I even purchased matching nail colours with every single dress (Now i know i really aint that girly but what the heck I have so much spare time up my you-know-what)I plan to make a "MEAN GIRL" The movie kinda entrance back to work after my leave (Nah nah no hottie there im trying to impress - It's just to motivate my self to start work with a fresh, happy and willing mind)

The best thing is that when I get back to work everything WOULD seem special as Ramadaan would have started. The holy month where you are expected to pay attentiion to other things less as compared to All Mighty Lord :) I have already started making a list of what I want and a list of things I have to thank HIM for :)

Cheers,
AK giddy with excitment! :D

MUSICOLOGY

I have discovered the RIGHT remedy for maintaining FOCUS at work. Constantly going through customer’s transactions / important reading material or policies can be a bit tiresome at times especially if one is required to keep ears blocked out from all the gossips and snipping remarks thrown by some MC’s and BC’s at work, blocking out stupid baseless jokes by the senior resources where u are also expected to laugh and respond to accordingly even if u don’t feel like it (Which is the case most of the time!)
Just a month ago I discovered that the idea was simply to go DUMB! A good colleague who sits right next to me brought his new mobile (Nokia Express Music) and had earplugs on. The other day I requested him to show me his playlist and transferred some of my all time fave tracks to my phone via Bluetooth. I decided to follow the same and started to work and amazingly that was one day without any argument, resentment and disappointment. I was happily working and nodding my head, smiling at those who passed by and yet managed to finish off work within reasonable time. One of the KING Jerks tried passing a sadistic remark and I even passed on that giving a FUCK OFF LOOSER look to him and carried on with my work as I was enjoying my work.
The best thing is that some of the other people in my department also noticed and requested for songs and shared their own collection. Now almost every one’s been following the same while working and all seems to be good and “peaceful” - Comparatively at least.
Whoever said that music is pure distraction?

DR AK approving her analysis – Cheers!

AK - All Smiles :)

Ok so this might be one pointless post but I really needed to read something like what a freind wrote in his blog recently so I thought of sharing it here:

http://omerarshad.blogspot.com/2009/06/negativity.html

Happy shappy AK :)